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TT from Chicago wrote on December 4, 2017 on 11:50 pm:
Im 37 and i have been picky all my life id rather go hungry if theres nothing in the house id eat the odd thing about me is i also have to be in the mood for my safe food or i wont eat that either ill cook for my kids then go munch on chips which i know is such a bad example i love cereal and pizza im 5ft8 and only 120lbs i want to gain weight my goal for 2018 is get over this and stop looking like a teen
CrystalCrystal from New Palestine wrote on December 1, 2017 on 8:15 pm:
I have been a "picky eater" my entire life with a phobia of vomiting on the side. It didn't bother me much as long as I could eat my "safe foods" which was a wide enough range to maintain a healthy weight eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
A few months ago I got food poisoning for the first time and if I didn't have ARFID before that, I definitely do now. I think about vomiting everytime I think about putting food anywhere close to my mouth. I mistake any feeling in my stomach for nausea, including hunger, which cuases my appetite to vanish while my stomach remains in pain. My "safe foods" that I could eat an abundancy of are now limited to eat until the slightest feeling of fullness or mistaken nausea appears. Because of this I have lost 15 lbs that I cannot gain back, which has left me almost underweight.
I'm at a loss for what to do but I'm hoping with plenty of research and support, I can overcome this and start eating better than I ever have.
NicoleNicole from Little Compton wrote on November 29, 2017 on 1:45 pm:
I need to read about this...my daughter is the pickiest eater I have ever met.
PoppyPoppy from Hereford wrote on November 28, 2017 on 5:27 pm:
I thought I was the only one! Going over to friends house for tea is so frustrating especially when they tell me they're doing something i cant touch for tea, such as shepherds pie. :( It makes me feel so anxious having to announce that im a picky eater. Plus, I suffer from gastro eosophical reflux which doesn't help.
Admin Reply by: Bob
Some people do hide there eating by just saying I suffer from something that limits my eating what you will be having. However I would like to join you for the Tea part of the meeting. No need to tell them what you really have. Lots of people have medical issues that limit what they can eat.
YvetteYvette from Daleville wrote on November 24, 2017 on 5:10 pm:
I wanted to add some information to my previous entry. The foods I can eat for breakfast is cereal but can't get soggy, bagels, biscuits, very crispy bacon, hashbrowns (only from McDonalds), pancakes, waffles, french toast. For lunch or dinner- cheese pizza but can't have pieces of tomatoes or other vegetables in the sauce or a lot of cheese on it, tomato soup (only Campbells), crackers, peanut butter, grilled cheese, french fries but can't be too thick.

Apples I can eat if they are crisp and sweet (not cooked). The only way I have found to be able to eat fruit and vegetables is to juice and make smoothies. But there can't be any pieces in it so I will strain it.

I am so glad to not be alone. I know there are others that can't eat as much as me or eat other things than me.
Thanks for having this website.
Danielle CDanielle C from Milwaukee wrote on November 22, 2017 on 8:41 pm:
Finding this website is literally a godsend for me right now. I have been a picky eater all of my life. This has been such a sore topic in my life and honestly I'm tired of hiding and trying to get people to understand. They tried to force feed me as a child, I've been made made fun of by family,friends,coworkers etc , I've pretended to eat food,hide it or act like I just ate to not appear "weird". Yet at 32 I still ear nothing more than chips,French fries,cereal,breaded chicken or shrimp. All of my foods have to be crunchy and I dont eat vegetables but I love fruit. I have 2 children that I try to offer more foods but its hard when my palette and so bland and I'm not sure what it should taste like. Me not being much of cook is a big insecurity for me especially now that I am in a new relationship. He knows I'm picky but I dont think he quite understands how serious and difficult it is for me. I'm scared it will put tension between us eventually. As I write this I just want to cry because something I have no control over has affected every part of my life. I just want to be normal
Admin Reply by: Bob
I suggest that you tell your new relationship about how you eat and you can throw in you never wanted to be this way and you would change if you could. The longer you wait the more potential damage it will do to the relationship. I had two marriages that lasted 3 years each and before my 3rd wife and I went on our first date I told her just how bad it was and don't ever expect me to get any better. That was about 20 years ago and we are still happily married. If your new relationship is strong you should stay together. If not better to find out now that it's going to be a big problem and move on to someone who will love you just the way you are. I would bet you are gifted in other ways. You should point that out to your new relation ship and also how you will be so loving and loyal if they accept you just the way you are. Good Luck Bob K
YvetteYvette from Daleville wrote on November 22, 2017 on 6:18 pm:
Hi I am so glad to find a website and group about this. I have been this way since I was 2 years old. I have done some mild cognitive therapy on myself to eat some things over the years but I still mainly consists of cheese pizza and french fries for lunch and dinner.
HeatherHeather from Hamilton wrote on November 18, 2017 on 7:47 pm:
Ive been crying today over my problem and wonder if anyone out there is like me. Glad to find a site that may be some help to me. Im having a really hard time due to my many fears with food and with Thanksgiving coming up its really been hard. Not only do i have fears of food but i have fears of eating food made by others, fears of eating off silverware, plates, drinking out of glasses, fear of using pot, pans and utinsils that have been used to make foods i dont like or have been put in Kitchen sink. I wish mine was just about food. Being like this is embarrasing and the anxiety and panic from it at times feels like im dying inside. I dont know who to talk to because no one understands me or the pain inside from being like this. I dont eat anything anyone touches or makes. I remember as a girl at school i would throw away whatever my mom packed on my luch that wasnt pre packaged. I never would never eat school lunches either. Im a strict vegetarian/ vegan and get grosdef out very easily!
My boyfriend has invited me to his moms house for thanksgiving and i have been crying cause i told him id go but what am i gonna do around the table for dinner? I wont eat anything thats been made nor will i eat off the plate, use the silverware or drink out of the glass. Ive only went to one other thanksgiving and that was 16 yrs ago at my ex husbands families house. It was a horrible time. I was laughed at and the jokes at me were not funny. I remember feeling as if my insides were crying. I was so upset. I want all of these fears, phobias or whatever it is to go away. I just want to beable to go to peoples houses or out to dinner or just beable to eat anywhere without being a big embarrassment! Any comments would be appreciated! Thanks
Admin Reply by: Bob
Sounds like you may have ARFID to some degree. But to me it appears that you have major OCD issues. I would bet many others have told you that before. OCD treatments can help but the condition from what I have seen over the years can really be difficult to conquer. I like you have never had a good Thanksgiving day in my entire life. Most of the time I have always found a way to avoid the big dinner at all cost and show up later to share some time with my family members and loved ones. Your boyfriend has got you trapped into a terrible situation for you. You should express to him why you would rather not be trapped into sitting at a diner table with lots of people you have never met who probably will say some very hurtful things to you. And if he says you can bring your own food, plates, silverware etc. Thet would probably be just as bad. No easy answer here. In my case I'm taking my wife on a 7 day cruise this year to avoid the family diner. If your boyfriend is not understanding about your issues you might think about a new boyfriend. Good luck to you. I really do feel your pain. Our lives can be a daily bag of stress.
CheyenneCheyenne wrote on November 18, 2017 on 5:24 am:
I am such a picky eater. What I eat is mostly by texture, bananas make me throw up, and apple sauce which I love makes me gag. I cannot even think about eating egg yolk or oatmeal. Most of this food I do enjoy so it is very hard when you are out for food with someone and can only eat a select few things on the menu.
MichelleMichelle wrote on November 17, 2017 on 2:28 am:
42 year of this and defending myself and embarrassment and everything that goes along with it. I cried so hard when I found this is a real thing. Crying now
Admin Reply by: Bob
Cry no more. Now I'm crying with you.
Bob K
CJCJ wrote on November 15, 2017 on 2:19 am:
I cannot begin to describe the relief I feel to know that I am not the only one who has experienced this. As a 20 year old college student, I stress daily about meals and what my future is going to be like due to the fact that I can only get myself to eat the same foods that I have always ate. From dinner with my friends, to fundraisers with captains and admirals, I am always left trying to explain why I spend more time looking at my food than eating it. I hope to someday not have this dilemma, but for now its good to know that I am not alone.
CheyenneCheyenne from Lancaster wrote on November 5, 2017 on 12:03 am:
I’m so happy there’s others like me. I am 19 and I’ve been struggling with this eating disorder for as long as I can remember. When I was a child I ate a wide variety of food. Almost everything. And as I grew older I started hating all of it. I don’t even “try” foods. Even foods I used to eat. I just jump to the assumption that I hate it. It’s so hard to go out to dinner with my boyfriend or his family. There is only so many places that I will eat and if it is somewhere I haven’t eaten I have to look up the menu first. I hate most chicken besides chicken tenders. Tomatoe sauce, most veggies, some fruits, and fish. It’s easier to list what I actually do eat.
shawn kubitzashawn kubitza from portland wrote on November 2, 2017 on 12:56 am:
i have this issue so bad and i hate it. i have a terrible time even trying to explain it to my wife. i feel like i hate food. my biggest problem is that i like different foods. like i love salsa but i cant eat any of the seperated ingredients. my other weird one is with potatoes. for me a hash brown and a tater tot are different they smell different and taste different. ill eat both but i cant have tater tots with breakfast or hashbrowns with dinner. i hate being told im just stubborn. if i could snap my fingers and just eat better i would i just cant seem to get a handle on it.
KarolaKarola from Yogyakarta, Indonesia wrote on October 29, 2017 on 1:44 pm:
Hey! I am very glad I found this website and I've been talking to Marla and I am very happy that it all happens. For years, I thought I was the only one like so and it was such an amazing feeling when I found out that I was not the only one.

Since I was two (I am not 22), I only eat french fries as my main meal. I eat other foods too but not too many. I eat bread but not all kinds of bread. I don't eat meat and veggies. I eat fruit but very limited amount of fruit. I always eat grilled cheese for breakfast, for lunch, I can go with french fries (preferably with cheese sauce) or crepe. I rarely have dinner but when I do, i usually just eat french fries again. My favourite snacks are chips, peanuts, and chocolate bars.

It's been really hard growing up as an adult who is picky eater in Indonesia because there are so many foods that I cannot eat here. I tend to go to the same restaurants and order the same meal.
Getting a weird look from people I just met is not a rare thing for me. And I actually kind hate it when they keep asking me about my situation. I even got forced by my teacher when I was in my first grade to eat normal. Of course I refused.
I keep saying that I'm still full or that I already ate whenever I am offered a food that I don't eat and sometimes it feels rude to me but I have to do that. Otherwise, I probably will puke.

And I've been having a hard time to fit in with new people due to this condition. Few days ago I even cried because I will be in a strange new place for a month this December with people I barely know. I cannot bail on that since it is a required activity from my campus.

I currently need someone that is like me to talk to. I've been talking to people around me but they just don't get it because they don't share the same experience as I do.
MelanieMelanie from Raleigh wrote on October 20, 2017 on 7:18 pm:
I cried when I first discovered it wasn't just me! I'm almost 50, and it started as soon as I was introduced to solid foods, according to my mother. My parents tried everything; reason, threats, begging, punishment, bribery, shame, peer pressure, and for 999 times out of 1,000 kids, at least one of those methods will work. But nobody knew at the time that all of those methods are wrong for us. The doctor told them as long as I was healthy not to worry about it, that I would grow out of it, and 999 out of 1,000 kids do grow out of it. But not us.

I tried cognitive behavioral therapy a couple of times with therapists who treated it like any other phobia. Psychologists just didn't know much about it. The first time I just wasn't ready. The second time was more successful, but there were other significant stresses in my life and I had to stop. However, I have been treating at the Duke Center for Eating Disorders for almost a year, and this time I'm seeing some real results. You can appreciate how I felt when I was able to order a Chick-Fil-A sandwich (no pickles!) just like anybody else. I felt so NORMAL! I finally had something else besides fries to eat. It took 6 months of therapy, but there it is. I still have to push myself, but it's getting easier, and I go to Chick-Fil-A about twice a week now. Only someone for whom a restaurant is a lifelong source of anxiety, embarrassment and shame knows what a big deal this is.

So far, treatment has consisted of a couple of visits to a dietician familiar with eating disorders, and weekly sessions with a therapist who is very familiar with the thoughts and feelings of those of us with ARFID/Selective Eating Disorder. She understands that, for me at least, freedom and feeling in control is very important.

I could go on about what my therapy is like, but it would take up way too much time. However, I can tell you that I went into this hoping to cure this "problem", fix my "defect", blend in with the herd, and I am actually able to try some new foods and actually integrate them into my life. But, more importantly, and unexpectedly, I'm also learning to be OK with myself, accept that I have this issue and it is part of my life, and when the waitress singles me out by asking, "ARE YOU SURE YOU ONLY WANT FRIES?" (Thanks for shining a spotlight on my problem!) I can say out loud, "Yes! Yes, that's all I want!" (You got a problem with that, sweetheart?) I'm trying to improve my diet, but at the same time, learning to be OK with myself whatever I'm eating, or not eating. It's OK to be different, and for me, at least when it came to food, I never wanted to be different.

For those of you out there who are interested in treatment options, I think the best advice I can give is to find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, and is knowledgeable about ARFID. Also, be patient--there is no timetable for progress.

Wow. I really thought I was the only one, and that something had gone terribly wrong with me, so I am SO GLAD to know there are a bunch more of you out there!!
Admin Reply by: Bob
Thanks for your post to our guest book. It will be very helpful for others who are seeking treatments and also show how hard it can be expand what we can eat. Bob K
LaurenLauren wrote on October 20, 2017 on 1:05 am:
Hi everyone!
It's nice knowing I'm not the only picky eater out there! I'm 22 and I've been a picky eater for as long as I can remember. I hate most flavors and most textures, which makes eating pretty difficult and I'm also terrified of trying new things.

Right now I'm really struggling with trying to maintain a healthy diet. I want to get back into shape and be fit, but I know what I eat is holding me back. I can't stand eggs, bananas (most fruit in general), or seafood & usually that's what people recommend if you're trying to lose weight/eat healthier.
If anyone has any ideas as to what I could eat/any advice, that would be awesome! Thanks :)
Danielle KDanielle K from Pennsylvania wrote on October 15, 2017 on 2:15 pm:
Hello!
Thanks for reading. So happy to know I am not alone. I feel desperate at this point which is why I am reaching out here. I am 20 years old and a student in community college.
I have selective eating issues and sensory issues with food. The problem is now that years ago I realized I had lactose intolerance so we got the lactaid pills so I could continue to enjoy any kids dream diet: Kraft mac and cheese (only kraft), grilled cheese (only American cheese), pb&J, ice cream, snacks, soup, yogurt, pudding and u know that's about it. Maybe a few other things like apples with pb.. French fries... other than apples, no fruits or veggies and no meat...
The lactaid pills should be used occasionally for cheating... But I used the pills daily because most meals of mine surrounded dairy. Fast forward to now and all the dairy products I have ate over the years have literally caused me to feel ill almost every day and giving me horrible side effects.

After a trip to the doctor one time, she said, first thing you need to do is eliminate dairy from your diet. My thoughts: perfect plan, I'll just eat the air!" Because I'm afraid to try anything new, so I've been now only eating cheerios with lactaid milk, soup, crackers, and I did have pb & J over the past couple days but I think the PB isn't sitting well with me either now. My foods have dropped from any kids dream diet to: I need to find help asap to change my almost daily feeling of illness because I've ate the foods I was allergic to for years and I am afraid to try anything new. I've contacted numerous dieticians for them all to say that my problems are too complex to treat: my diet is extremely limited, fear of trying new foods and having sensory issues with food but need to get more healthy
I reached out to the only eating disorder support place in my area but they are out of network!!:( I have been in therapy since age 13 for my mental health issues; not for my eating issues. My recent therapist was not working for me so I am now seeing a therapist and a new type of therapy: CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)

I also tried seeing an occupational therapist over the summer for help with feeding issues ... But things have changed since I was a kid. I've had sensory issues with food ever since I was a baby. Age 5, I was eating only baby vanilla pudding, milk and water for 6 months. Before that, I only ate a few baby foods. Parents brought me to different doctors and therapies like occupational therapy. Luckily by age 5, my parents found the childrens institute of Pittsburgh. I was a patient living there for two months in their feeding program because I had an oral motor delay and needed to learn how to chew and how to eat people foods. I had occupational therapy and speech therapy while I was there along with like 5 mealtimes a day. The first couple days of living without my parents was traumatic. My parents after the first couple days could visit me in the evenings, but anyways, coming out of there I was eating a wide variety of foods but fast forward to now and I'm like only eating cheerios and soup. I am exaggerating ever so slightly. The occupational therapy I tried over the summer was different from when I was a kid because the therapist said to me, now that I am an adult, treatment would be individualized and self guided. I thought: I can't guide myself right now!!! I don't know what else to eat and I am terrified of trying anything New! So I gave that up...

Also, in December of this past year, I got food poisoning... ever since that time I have had emetaphobia. Fear of getting sick .... on top of my issues with food and feeling ill I also don't want to get sick again! All these issues have caused me to miss class and be behind on my school work and miss out on working out like Taekwondo because I haven't felt well these days.

I've suffered from anxiety and other stuff for many years but because of my emetaphobia and daily stress with that and food neophobia with having a dairy allergy, missing class, not keeping up , etc... the other night I had a panic attack, shaking uncontrollably, felt like I could pass out and screaming.. felt like I was having a heart attack.. My mom had to call the ambulance and got brought to the hospital only after to find out after tests on me that I had a panic attack; not a heart attack..

As you can see, my eating problems and not feeling well is taking it's toll on me... I don't have my license yet and all my fears and anxieties partaining to food and emetaphobia... I've been avoiding things like driving lessons, hopefully I get back into that. I am going to see my doctor tomorrow to talk about everything and see about treatment.

I know this was a really long message and there is a lot of other posts to read so if you read mine and have any advice, guidance or suggestions, I would really appreciate it. In the past, going to restaurants was hard because it could only have Kraft mac and cheese or grilled cheese, but now that my dairy allergy has gotten to this point, right now I cannot go to any public eating place.

Again I feel bad that this was very long but I feel desperate and was hoping someone on the picky eating support website that knows what I am going through would be able to help me. Thank you so much, it truly means a lot to me that you read this! I have been working on a book about my life, so maybe one day you guys will get to read it. :-)
Admin Reply by: Bob
First things first. If necessary you need to get your body feeling better. Have you tried anything like Ensure or Boost to get some of the things your not getting through your diet? Have you had blood tests to see what Vitamins and minerals you need to work on? With a little work you can correct those that you are deficient on. Take your mind off your troubles. No one in this world is more limited than me. I'm now 70 and feeling pretty good. I do take some supplements and get regular blood tests. No reason why you can't have a great life. Get to work and maybe you should get that drivers license. Bob K
NicholeNichole from Louisville wrote on October 15, 2017 on 12:37 am:
I’m almost 40 and since I can remember, I have always had an issue with the look, smell, and texture of foods. I have this insane fear of putting food in my mouth and not being able to get it out fast enough. I gag easily as well. I wish I could be like other people that look over a menu in a restaurant and are like “hmm, I think I’ll try this” and in my head I’m freaking out. What if you hate it?! What if it smells gross?!
LauraLaura wrote on October 10, 2017 on 10:47 pm:
I'm 26 years old, I have been a picky eater since I was around 11 years old, I would hide food, throw it in the garbage, etc,. Before being 11, I don't remember much but my family says that I used to eat everything. I didn't realize how bad my picky eating has gotten until recently when I went to a trip for two weeks at a friend's house. I was so hungry after a long fly, and the food looked fine but once I tasted it, I didn't like it at all, my stomach just closed and I had the hardest time eating it, I didn't finish it. So I thought, maybe it just tastes bad, but it happened the next day and after that to the point that I stopped eating what was made all together. I didn't even like the food ordered from the restaurants, so I started to make my own food, I can only imagine how bad it looked to be making your own food in a house that isn't yours, I was hungry and wasn't thinking much about that at the time.
I don't remember much being done by my guardian when I was little and I didn't like the food aside from making me feel guilty about the ones who don't have anything to eat. Back then, I would stare at the food think about the less fortunate ones, but I still couldn't eat it. My somach closes, but I am hungry, but the food taste bad. Even sometimes when I cook, the food still tastes bad, and everybody thinks that I am just very impolite for no eating what was made. And I can't help but feel disrespected by family members when they start criticising my no eating along with the lectures that everybody had eaten food that they didn't like. Now, I'm very conscious that the food isn't bad, that it just taste bad to me, I am constantly waiting to be extremely hungry to eat and hoping that it would make it easier, it doesn't, and I get sick, Gastritis being on the top. It is hard and I wish I could just eat whatever and feel satisfied. I am currently draining having to take another trip to visit a family member. Chances are that I won't like the food, higher chances of being shamed. At least now I know that I am not the only one with this problem. Sorry for the rant.
LauraLaura wrote on October 7, 2017 on 3:05 am:
I'm quite a picky eater. I don't eat any meat and never have. I dislike most vegetables but I can take a few bites if I have to. Most of the time when I can get my own food I think I am able to eat pretty healthy, but restaurants are really a problem. I usually order off the kid's menu. Something like mac and cheese or a grilled cheese. I really wish restaurants would just put these things on the adult menu. I'm 18 so I'm reaching the age where people think it is increasingly strange for me to order off the kid's menu. Does anyone else have experience with this? What do you do when you only want food off the kid's menu but they won't let you order it because you're too old. Have you been able to find other foods you like as you've gotten older?
Admin Reply by: Bob
You could try offering to pay an adult sandwich price for the Grilled Cheese. Or you could explain that you have severe food allergies and your diet is very limited. Tell them you were thinking about a yelp revue about how they treated you with your special diet needs. Or you can do what I would do and that is ask for the manager and explain you have many food issues with what they have on the menu and would he want you to order something that would result in being medivacked out of his dinning room. You can also tell the staff that you have a condition in the medical books called ARFID and explain just how you are limited in what you can eat. Point out that every time they refuse an adult who wants something off the kid menu they are most likely dealing with someone like you. Plus they probably left and will never come back. Not a good way to run a business. You have a disorder you never asked to have and just like everyone else in our country that is handicapped in some way they need to make an accommodation for you. Good luck Bob k