I cried when I first discovered it wasn't just me! I'm almost 50, and it started as soon as I was introduced to solid foods, according to my mother. My parents tried everything; reason, threats, begging, punishment, bribery, shame, peer pressure, and for 999 times out of 1,000 kids, at least one of those methods will work. But nobody knew at the time that all of those methods are wrong for us. The doctor told them as long as I was healthy not to worry about it, that I would grow out of it, and 999 out of 1,000 kids do grow out of it. But not us.

I tried cognitive behavioral therapy a couple of times with therapists who treated it like any other phobia. Psychologists just didn't know much about it. The first time I just wasn't ready. The second time was more successful, but there were other significant stresses in my life and I had to stop. However, I have been treating at the Duke Center for Eating Disorders for almost a year, and this time I'm seeing some real results. You can appreciate how I felt when I was able to order a Chick-Fil-A sandwich (no pickles!) just like anybody else. I felt so NORMAL! I finally had something else besides fries to eat. It took 6 months of therapy, but there it is. I still have to push myself, but it's getting easier, and I go to Chick-Fil-A about twice a week now. Only someone for whom a restaurant is a lifelong source of anxiety, embarrassment and shame knows what a big deal this is.

So far, treatment has consisted of a couple of visits to a dietician familiar with eating disorders, and weekly sessions with a therapist who is very familiar with the thoughts and feelings of those of us with ARFID/Selective Eating Disorder. She understands that, for me at least, freedom and feeling in control is very important.

I could go on about what my therapy is like, but it would take up way too much time. However, I can tell you that I went into this hoping to cure this "problem", fix my "defect", blend in with the herd, and I am actually able to try some new foods and actually integrate them into my life. But, more importantly, and unexpectedly, I'm also learning to be OK with myself, accept that I have this issue and it is part of my life, and when the waitress singles me out by asking, "ARE YOU SURE YOU ONLY WANT FRIES?" (Thanks for shining a spotlight on my problem!) I can say out loud, "Yes! Yes, that's all I want!" (You got a problem with that, sweetheart?) I'm trying to improve my diet, but at the same time, learning to be OK with myself whatever I'm eating, or not eating. It's OK to be different, and for me, at least when it came to food, I never wanted to be different.

For those of you out there who are interested in treatment options, I think the best advice I can give is to find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, and is knowledgeable about ARFID. Also, be patient--there is no timetable for progress.

Wow. I really thought I was the only one, and that something had gone terribly wrong with me, so I am SO GLAD to know there are a bunch more of you out there!!