I am 24 years old, and this is my first time coming across people who eat the way I do. After reading some these stories, I realized how much worse my situation could have been. Even as a child, my parents rarely tried to force me to eat anything I didn't like. When my mom first tried the trick of "eat this or don't eat at all," she learned very quickly how easy that decision was for me, and she decided she'd rather that I eat something I chose than nothing at all. Perhaps my parents were more accepting because my mom is relatively picky (compared to other people, though she's much better than I am), and her dad was also very particular about his food and the restaurants he would go to, in part due to his diabetes (though, again, he was much better about food than I am). I think others have judged my mother for how she handled the situation and they believed she enabled me and worsened my condition. After reading other testimonials, I realize the opposite is true. She taught me I don't need to be ashamed of my eating and ensured that I was able to feel safe eating around her. Things changed a bit when my stepmom came into the picture; she and my dad made efforts to get me to try new foods. For example, I had to try one new thing every time we went to a buffet, but even though I was able to choose which food to try, I was very anxious and distressed and usually ended up crying because I just knew it was going to taste disgusting and I was going to end up vomiting in a public place. Because of the vomiting, my stepmom was convinced I was bulimic, and that thought was also very distressing to me because a cousin of mine had anorexia and I knew how that situation had hurt the rest of my family. My grandparents told me a few times they thought I was going to end up like her. I burst into tears when a therapist I saw suggested I might have anorexia or bulimia, which she interpreted as proof that she must be right. I stopped seeing her soon after. I can eat spaghetti, linguine, and fettucini noodles with butter and parmesan, but I cannot eat cheese ravioli or lasagna because the noodles are too thick and I don't like the texture of ricotta. For 15-20 years, I have eaten some variation of buttered pasta everyday, sometimes more than once per day. I can eat Kraft macaroni if I make it or my mom does, but even I sometimes mess up and make it inedible. I can eat iceberg salads (I hate stems in my lettuce) with ranch, croutons, sunflowers seeds, and cheese. I d not like the salads without something crunchy in them (which is strange because I don't like crunchy peanut butter, for example), but I can still stomach them if I absolutely need to. I do not like carrots or tomatoes in my salad, but I can eat around them. I eat cheese pizza and alfredo pizza at Cicis and Double Dave's. I'm nervous about trying other alfredo pizzas because I can't stand the taste of garlic, though I tend to be ok if only a little is used on cheese bread. I can eat PBJs with creamy peanut butter and grape jelly. I am good with most variations of fried potatoes (chips [even some flavors aside from original], fries, and hash browns). I also like popcorn, though the butter at movie theaters upsets my stomach. As for meat, I can only eat the fried fish at Luby's, and I can only eat it if I drown it in ketchup so that I can't taste the fish itself (I like the breading). I like the smell of fajita meat, though. I'm good with some fruits (grapes, apples, strawberries, pineapples, and peaches), but I don't like eating melons or having seeds in my mouth. As for vegetables, I really only eat corn (on the cob or off) aside from iceberg lettuce. Unfortunately, although I can eat peanut butter as well as some fruits and vegetables for protein and vitamins, I rarely do, so I'm certain my nutrition is even worse than that of some others on this site. I tend to stick to my bland pasta and snacks such as chips and popcorn, perhaps because of undiagnosed OCD (I easily sink into habits/routines). My family is accepting overall (some even defend me from outsiders' comments), and I have never tried to hide my eating issues. If someone unfamiliar with my eating comments on it and I do not feel like explaining myself or am worried about offending someone, I simply say that I am feeling unwell or that I already ate. I still frequently go out to eat with my family and friends. I'm sure I'm a pain at restaurants because I have to special order almost everything for example, ordering nachos with only chips and cheese or pasta with only melted butter). Less-fancy places with simpler food are usually better for me. If the restaurant doesn't have something that I can make suit my needs, I simply order nothing, enjoy the company, and eat something later. I hate trying to explain my issues to someone new because that inevitably leads to the side-show act of me listing the few foods I can tolerate. As I said before, my nutrition is abysmal, but I'm worried about seeing nutritionists because I'm fairly certain they will just tell me I need to expand my diet. I can't. I just need to know the best all-around supplements to take. I can't really tolerate flavored protein shakes because they have a sort of chalky/gritty texture that I don't like. I know my family worries about my health, and they have told me I won't be healthy enough to have kids. I now have other reasons for not wanting kids, but it was still nice to see other women on this site say that they have healthily had children, though I still wonder if they had better nutrition than I do. I would love to be able eat as other people do, but I would be skeptical of any treatment options because (aside from hypnosis, which I'm unsure about) there's no way to force me to like something, and I have no interest in spending the rest of my life eating foods that disgust me in the name of being "cured." Some of the stories on this site made me cry because those horrible family and school experiences could so easily have happened to me, and my heart hurts for all the people who feel as if they need to hide how they eat because the people around them would not accept them. I am glad they (and I) have found this community.