I live in queens New York and it was 12 am when I found this website and i read soooooo many comments and it's now 330 am and I'm writing this post. While reading everyone's eating problems it seriously made me want to cry, I just turned 33 last week and I can remember as a child I used to eat everything, like very very young child like 8 years old. I don't know what happened in my life around that time but I have no eaten anything since then. reading these comments make me feel so much better because trying to explain this to people is beyond impossible. I worked at a job where I worked in. a truck with a new partner everyday jand every single f**king day I was questioned about why I don't eat this and they would go through list asking me if I like this or that. that's not even the begining. I have been dealing with this for so long I really wish it would end. The saddest part of my whole life is that I met the girl of my dreams I love her more than life itself and she's a very simple girl who isn't flashy doesent party isn't anything she's so simple and loves one thing sooo much, and that is food. My girl loves to eat, she loves to go out to restaurants and try new places and try new foods from all over. Mind you I live in New York so the food is on another level over here...... supposably. I'm so lucky because when we go out to eat we go only to Italian food places because I can eat chicken parm but it has to be extremely thin sliced chicken if it's thick I won't eat it ughhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I'm so fucking annoying I seriously annoy the sh*t out of myself. I would do anything to change this!!! i seriously have one gift in my life I'm not skilled at anything at all besides one thing and that's baseball I'm soo good at baseball but I can t even write this without crying., so when I got to high-school everyone was growing and I wasn't growing at all and I realized that I wasn't growing bevsude of the way I eat and I was better than every single person on the team but I was so small I never would make it anywhere I realized everything I was doing was a complete waste of time and I dropped out of high school because the only thing I ever cared about and was good at was baseball. I used to be kind of heavy for my hejgbt I'm 5 ft 7 and I used to weight 150 lbs, I honestly gave up on food every single day when I'm hungry and I have to think for 3 hours about what I can eat for that meal, it became so misersble to me that I ended up giving up on food and now I just don't eat unless I'm absolutley starving and now I'm 33 years old like I said I'm 5ft 7 and I'm 127 lbs. I am so sad everytime I look in the mirror. I wish you guys could see what I look like, I'm such a good looking guy besides all the bul*sh*t and I can't get a job right now I have been looking for a job for over a year if you look in my email it's consistently emails of me getting denied for job after job after job after job after Job. The only job that I have gotten interviews for are construction jobs and like I said I'm 5ft 7 127 lbs and I'm soo fu*king nervous to take the job and embaress myself and everyone's going to laugh because I can't use the tool because I'm too weak or I can't carry something because it weights more than me. It's the most terrifying thing ever to me. I don't know what to do with my life and I'm with the love of my life it's the only good thing in my life right now and she's ready to leave me because I've been stuck in this situation for over a year. I don't know anymore and I can't even believe I just started to write and I've been writing for about 35 min straight without stopping I never did that in my entire life it felt good THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR THIS WEBSITE I HAVE BEEN SO ALONE MY ENTIRE LIFE. No doctors knew how to help me noone knows how to help me and I'm so so so tired of trying to help myself and failing its so exhausting my body hurts everything hurts and I have so many dreams but everything I start I have all this ambition and I never go through with anything I don't know why it's like I have a Damm wall I start things and just can't seem to follow through everything just stops. ughhh if anyone has any comments negetive or positive I'm open to litterally anything, if anyone has any critique or criticism I'm all ears. If anyone can help me in anyway possible please please please email me at howardtvondemand@gmail.com I'm open to any help if you can point me in the right direction, if someone can help me make a meal plan with how awful my pallette is to try to gain weight I would so appreciate it you don't even understand. Noone can help me and I have no idea where else to turn and I stumbled across this page at random and maybe my path was to stop here and write this entry to this guestbook for an hour straight. Who Knows. I really hope someone can Email me some advice somehow, I will be checking all the time. Thank you again for this website and letting me vent and blow off some steam. Thank you to the. creator, I really hope to hear from someone soon!!